Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Day in a life

Description: When we went to camp we did activitys. My favourite one was horses. I am writing to entertain. I chose this because I like entertaining people and writing is a good way to do it

A Day and a Life of a Horse

I trot around. I drink. I eat. At least that's what humans think.
Well they are wrong. We ( other horses too ) do much more and this is my story.

I felt my saddle go click, then snap. Oh no not another ride. Oh my name is Gimber and I am one
 of the horses at camp El Rancho. I see lots of kids. Three of them vault over the fence 
Pwwwww. Fart, embarrassing! A girl with glasses chose me. Joe put on the lead rope and we went
round the track. I stopped to have a drink. It was a long drink. Plop, plop. Ewww that stinks. Oops 
that was me. We followed Fin up the hill back into the yard. Then we went back to the stables. 
The girl slid of a hay load of pats. She goes with some other girls to get some hay because all the 
feed bags were empty. The girl jumped back over the fence so three other people could slide over.
More rides. Then everyone was gone and a new group came and another person clambered on.
Oh no here it goes again. Another ride.....

My name is Gimber. I drink. I eat. Well, that's what humans think.

Feed back:I think that the whole story is very good.
Feedforward:I think that the story does not have any flaws

Evaluation: I think I did well with the use of language 
I think I could make it a bit more intense 

1 comment:

  1. I like my story but I could right a bit more and I am getting better every day